What’s a bogey hole got to do with it?
On this bright November morning, waves crash and foam at Bronte Beach.
Beyond the break, surfers gather. They steady their boards, noses forward, ready to ride over shifting sands and rips that dump many a swimmer (and shockingly have broken the neck of more than one friend).
Closer to shore, ringed by rocks that are jagged and darkly mossed, is the bogey hole.
It’s a crystalline pool. An oasis in this wild place. A haven for toddlers, canoodlers and morning mermaids. And when you stand above (or edge into) its cool waters, you’re freed from the chaos of daily life.
In the bogey hole, tension washes off your shoulders, and you’re enlivened to brave the world again…
Let’s face it, we all need a bogey hole in our lives: something that soothes our nerves and fuels our joie de vivre.
In this particularly chaotic year, it’s tempting to bypass oases like this as we claw our way through to-do lists. And yet, moments of tranquility are the one thing you can rely on to buoy you through tough times. These precious moments have flow-on effects that:
boost your energy
bring you peace of mind
improve emotional regulation
focus your concentration
help you sleep more deeply.
Do you yearn for these benefits?
Perhaps you crave one in particular. If so, how would your life be different if you had it?
Five blissful habits
It’s time to discover your own bogey hole… Here are five simple suggestions guaranteed to soothe a jacked-up nervous system and infuse your life with bliss.
WARNING: If you simply run your eyes over this list without applying anything new, your life will remain unchanged. So, why not read with a little more effort and pick one — just one — to experiment with today?
If it goes well, perhaps you’ll consider trialing it for a week…
After all, learning is one thing; action another. And research shows that regular practice has a cumulative soothing effect on your nervous system. So, I guess the question for you is:
How important is staying calm, grounded and sane to you?
Your answer to this question will determine the extent to which you’re willing to experiment with one of the suggestions below.
Earth
Have you heard of the term ‘earthing’? It refers our ability to tap into the earth's natural energy by walking barefoot on grass, sand, soil or rock, or immersing yourself in an ocean or river. Advocates of earthing believe that the earth’s electrons transfer into and nourish your body.
Now, regardless of whether you subscribe to this belief or not, we can all agree that spending time in nature is calming, healing and rejuvenating.
When you exit your home, office, shopping mall (or other human container) and enter a pleasant natural setting, you get to breathe fresh air, absorb soft sunlight and ease into a slower pace that mirrors rustling leaves, flitting birds and the rhythm of tides.
You get to leave behind the hubbub of our modern existence.
And, if you cannot get outside, even pausing for a moment to look out your window as clouds drift across the sky or stars gather at night, is a moment of immersion in nature that can calm your nervous system.
Ask yourself:
What does connecting with our earth look like for you?
Breathe
What could be simpler than breathing? It’s compulsory if you want to stay alive (anyone got a reference for that?!), but not all breathing is alike. What we’re looking for here is slow, deep, relaxed breathing that signals to your body that you are safe. According to research from the Mayo Clinic and many other studies, breathing mindfully in this way regulates your autonomic nervous system, providing you with a sense of calm.
There are many different ways to practice mindful breathing. Here’s a basic exercise for you to try.
Boxed breathing
Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down in. Ensure your posture is straight-backed but relaxed. Empty your lungs completely, then simply notice your breath while you follow the instructions below.
Slowly count to four as you inhale through your nose. Let the air fill your lungs all the way to your lower abdomen.
Hold your breath for four counts.
Slowly count to four as you exhale through your nose until your lungs are completely empty.
Note: If you are highly aroused as you begin this exercise, try exhaling through your mouth with lips pursed as if you are blowing through a straw. As you calm down, you can revert to nose breathing if this feels comfortable.
With your breath completely exhaled, pause for four more counts.
Circle through these steps continuously for 5 - 10 minutes, three times a day or whenever you feel anxiety climbing.
Ask yourself:
How can you breathe more mindfully today?
Move
Are you a yogi? A weightlifter? A marathon runner?
Honestly, it pains me to stop there as my mind fills with the possibility of movement. Truly the options are endless: dancing, stretching, jogging, shaking, cycling, swimming, climbing, strolling, bowling, gardening, surfing…
It doesn’t matter what movement you choose; provided you enjoy it and engage at an appropriate level of intensity, regular movement has been proven to reduce anxiety and depression. And it’s not just about the chemical cocktail you get to enjoy when you engage in movement (although that is absolutely an integral part of why exercise is vital for your wellbeing). It’s also that movement gives you a sense of agency. And agency (your ability to choose and control your actions) is fundamental to your mental health.
Ask yourself:
At this moment in your life, what movement feels nourishing to you?
Imagine
“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” – Willy Wonka
Enough said.
OK, I’ll elaborate. A little.
This quote from the movie adaptation of Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory perfectly captures the findings from volumes of research into cognitive fatigue. In a nutshell, our attentional and executive cognitive functions have limited capacity, meaning we aren’t designed to be sensible all the time. We need to imagine, play, laugh and dream to recharge our batteries…
The wisest people pursue balanced lives that include time out to just be.
Ask yourself:
How can you be even sillier and dreamier today?
Connect
“Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.” — Erik Erikson, father of psychosocial development
Human beings are social creatures. Our brains are wired that way. If you haven’t read Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yoval Hoah Harari, it’s worth it for this revelation alone: our species survived because of our ability to collaborate.
With this in mind, when you’ve tried to manage anxiety independently and it’s still too much to bear, reach out. Connect with a trusted friend. Speak with a therapist, coach or other experienced professional. Get the support you need to break out of an anxious spiral and flow towards your oasis.
Ask yourself:
Who do you trust to support you through tough times?
Bonus
For those of you who have read this far, your reward is to discover the etymology of the term bogey pool! The word ‘bogey’ is said to come from the indigenous Australian Dharawal word meaning ‘to bathe’. Bogey hole therefore refers to a bathing or swimming hole. Ah! Isn’t that satisfying to know?
Last but not least, if you’re curious to learn more about calming your nervous system so you can lead a happy, healthy and prosperous life, get in touch.